So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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