Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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