You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
