I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just had sex on a roof
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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