Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
