Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
