Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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