Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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