He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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