It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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