So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wish you could order shots online.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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