I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
this boner is exhausting
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
