i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
