Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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