none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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