did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
