Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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