So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
