My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
