he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Two words: nipple clamps
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