and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
