I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
