May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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