you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
People in love make me want to vomit
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
