Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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