found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
