either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
