Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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