We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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