i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
