Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize