so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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