my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
