I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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