All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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