me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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