Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
