when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
