Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
