Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
