i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Little spoons don't ask big questions
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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