genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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