Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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