I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
