You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
