carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
