id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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