I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize