Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
