they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
