I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
